Motivation and Productivity

For the last 18 months I have been hugely struggling with how my whole life has been going. I've been a massive social recluse, especially since around November, to the point where I just have no social life, next to no one to spend time with and as a result it's had a colossal impact on my motivation and productivity.

Due to the masses of free time I have theoretically I could be recreating myself, being hugely selfish in every aspect of my life and just devoting my time to bettering myself physically and mentally. However despite the productive things I could be doing with my time I feel as if I have no motivation to do anything besides sit and complain about how miserable I am with the way my life is going. I used to be a firm believer in the phrase ''good things come to those who wait.'' I used to believe that because I was so unsatisfied with my life it was a sure sign that better things were to come and not just slightly better, a whole life turnaround. In spite of that, recently I realised that I was just using this as an excuse to be lazy. To sit around and do nothing but feel sorry for myself.

Although some aspects of my bad luck aren't wholly my fault. For example, my struggle to find a job is resulting in making it more difficult for me to push myself out there in other aspects of my life as I simply can't afford the activities I want to do to not only improve myself but meet new people.

Nonetheless I still allow petty, in the grand scheme of things, insignificant qualms to hold me back when I am given opportunities. I allow my body hang ups restrict my social life even further than it already is and I allow my obsession with other people's opinion dictate a huge amount of the decisions I make. I could list a mountain of things I want to do, some immensely, some only a bit, yet regardless of my wants I allow my fear of judgement hold me back. I use the excuse 'oh it will be different at Uni' 'I won't make the same mistakes at Uni' but I am overwhelmingly afraid that I will, which is why this is an issue I need to address sooner rather than later.

My productivity is not only limited by my lack of motivation and laziness but also my fear. The increasingly frustrating part of this all is that I have been aware of this for some time, for over half a year at least, yet I'm still to do anything about it.

If anyone out there is feeling similar to how I am regarding their productivity, motivation, social life or disappointment then feel free to leave a comment. Additionally if anyone out there has succeeded in overcoming this vicious cycle then please leave any advice you feel willing to offer.

'Hard Out Here' for Lily Allen

Despite Lily Allen's comeback single being released some months ago on November 17th I have only just got round to writing a post on the song. I instantly enjoyed the witty and typical tongue 'n cheek lyrics from Lily but yet somehow, even now, every time I listen to the song it grows on me more and I find it increasingly accurate with every play. Nonetheless there still seems to be some controversy surrounding the song. Surprisingly not surrounding the lyrics as such, as there seems to be a level of agreement concerning the message but none the less Allen is consistently scrutinised for her song and additionally her whole album.

Many have criticised Lily for being hypocritical due to her weight loss since the singles' debut after she discussed the pressures on women to remain slim throughout the song. However I don't believe that by losing weight she's been hypocritical. Just because she has criticised the obsession with body image in mainstream media and the pressures that typically women face regarding weight it doesn't mean that she is then obliged to refrain from slimming down.

If anything, the fact that she has gone on to lose weight after identifying the problem further emphasises the point she made. It somewhat suggests that although she recognises that the media's infatuation with the female figure is unhealthy, their power is overwhelming and even someone who can confidently speak out against their constant harmful message still feels to some extent pressured to conform.

However I'm not trying to suggest the only reason she slimmed down was due to public opinion, I don't personally know her so there is no way I could comment on that. Yet I constantly feel the media's pressures regarding size, even though I'm in a position where I'm not constantly scrutinised by the public and journalists like Lily, so I'd be surprised if the demand to be thin didn't get to her to some extent. After all she's only human and it's hard out here for a bitch.