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Friday, 7 November 2014

The 'B' word

The modern riddle:


What's 9 letters long, makes you whole and finances your mild addiction to Nandos?
                                                                      (supposedly)

A boyfriend.


I never date. I never start seeing anyone and I definitely never have a boyfriend. I've survived pretty well without one so far so why do I have this voice in the back of my head saying that I should feel like I'm missing something? Like I'm weird for not trying to date. That I can't possibly be turning 18 in less than a week without having had a real relationship.

Probably because that voice is my mum's...

Being a 21st century teenager is in some ways unique. Throughout history humans have tried to find a partner, their other half, a prime mate and that is still apparent to this day but somewhere along the way the belief that you don't have to be in a monogamous relationship in order to have sex has flourished. As far as I can see this has lead to a huge decline in long term relationships amongst my generation.



Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people my age out there in relationships but it doesn't seem like so much of a priority now. My friends and I are like kids when they're in a toy store and they've already found their dream toy but they can't bring themselves to leave behind all the other things they're still gawking at hopefully.

We're already scared of commitment. 

Our excuses are similar to that of the person who's finally managed to clamber past the first few steps of the career ladder. ''I'm really busy right now'' ''I have so much work I have to focus on'' ''I just don't have the time.''

Maybe it's just me? Maybe I am weird and everyone reading this won't have a clue what I'm talking about and think that my excuses are just that, and incredibly feeble.

I sometimes wonder whether my problem isn't my fear of commitment but my fear of commitment to the people showing an interest, even if it is just a cinema date. At the same time I've had this problem for as long as I can remember, even with the people I truly wanted to be with.



But after all this, what I really want right now is the availability to have sex with anyone I want and to have the guarantee that they'll never be a bad shag. Is that too much to ask for?